PALE HABANERO
The second-most awkward burning sensation.
DISCREET PACKAGING. YOUR SEARCH HISTORY IS ON ITS OWN.FOUR OUNCES. WE KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDS.FREE SHIPPING — WE ALWAYS COVER THE LOADPRODUCT MAY APPEAR MORE RESPECTABLE IN PHOTOS.
LEGALLY, THIS IS A CONDIMENT
The white load
your mouth will
thank you for.
Four ounces of pale habanero and coconut cream. The burning sensation is flavor. The eye contact at brunch is your problem.
FREE SHIPPING. DISCREET BOX. WE SAW NOTHING.
I SAW WHERE
YOU LOOKED.
YOU LOOKED.
THE LOAD-BEARING CONDIMENT
BUKKAKESAUCEWHITE HOT SAUCE · 4 FL OZ$40LOAD
INCLUDED
INCLUDED
DISCREET BROWN BOXCREAMY ON ENTRYHOT ON EXIT
01WHAT'S IN THE LOAD?
Pale by choice.
Filthy by association.
The white comes from coconut cream, white miso, roasted garlic, and a total absence of shame. The heat comes from pale habanero.
It goes on creamy. Then the burning sensation arrives a few seconds later—like every decision you were specifically warned about.
BAD IDEA
URGENT CARE
ROASTED GARLIC
Protection against vampires. That's it.
COCONUT CREAM
Makes the word “mouthfeel” even dirtier.
NOTHING TO HIDE. EXCEPT YOUR RECEIPT.
It's not the size.
It's the shake.
Four ounces. Fits in your palm. Shoots all over a taco. Has already made this paragraph uncomfortable.
4 FL OZ enough to ruin eight family dinners$40 because therapy costs more
ROSEMARY · BAKED FRESH · SERVED STIFFTHE VERY ORIGINAL LIMP BISKET
Baked fresh.
Served stiff.
The Very Original Limp Bisket arrives rigid, salty, rosemary-scented, and artisanal. Then you cover it in white sauce and watch it lose all structural integrity. Rosemary has never had this much structural tension.
02PEOPLE WHO SWALLOWED
Five stars. Zero eye contact.
★★★★★
“The sauce was white, the bisket went limp, and somehow I'm the one banned from book club.”
— TESS, NO LONGER HOSTING
★★★★★
“My husband said four ounces was plenty. For once, he was right.”
— JEN, MARRIED
★★★★★
“Creamy in the mouth, spicy in the back. Five stars. No follow-up questions.”
— MARCUS, BETWEEN DENTISTS
DON'T JUST STAND THERE HOLDING IT